100 Things Robin is Not Allowed to Do
by Teaholix
Summary: The title says it. Crack, OOC, slash  Sladin among others .


A/N: Hello. Um hi. I'm usually not really used to writing A/Ns so it feels kinda awkward. So. I've always wanted to make these ridiculous list-thingys, and so here I am, making one. It is absolute 500% CRACK, OOC, and is not meant to offend anything or anyone. It includes slash, yaoi, m/m, gay-ness, all that jazz. I guess you can say that the main pairing is Slade/Robin (or Sladin) with bits of others. Other comics, cartoons, books and TV shows are mentioned.

Now, me writing this means I will not tolerate flames. Mostly because I'm too lazy to.

So here it is.

Oh. P.S. If there already is one like this in the Teen Titans fandom, please link me to it because I've never seen one yet, and I would LOVE to.

P.P.S. I've written in the title "Not allowed" in the title, but not all starts out with "~is not allowed to~" but I'm sure you'll live.

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**[ 100 Things Robin is Not Allowed to Do ] **

1. He should not dress up as Slade for Halloween, even if he has a full costume, including the mask.  
2. He is not allowed to pull out his former Robin costume with the short-shorts, however much hot the day is.  
3. Pixie boots are not allowed either.  
4. He is not allowed to pull out his former Robin costume just because Slade wants to see it.  
5. Especially because it would make sex more interesting.  
6. He would most definitely not pole-dance in said former costume.  
7. Nor will he lap dance.  
8. Even if Slade asks him to.  
9. He is not allowed to accept any pretty jewelry Red X steals for him.  
10. Even if it matches his eyes.

11. He will not encourage others to call Batman as their Sugar Daddy.  
12. Or Daddy.  
13. He is most definitely not allowed to ask Slade is them being in a relationship makes Batman Slade's Daddy too.  
14. He is not allowed to carve "Slade and Robin 4eva" onto Slade's mask.  
15. "Miss Slade Wilson" does not work either.  
16. He is not allowed to make out with Slade just to see Beast Boy's reaction.  
17. He is not allowed to make out in front of anybody for any specific reason.  
18. Even if Slade wants to.  
19. He is not allowed to recommend the Kama Sutra to Starfire when she asks to learn about human relationships.  
20. He is not allowed to give the book to Raven as her birthday present either.

21. And he would not brag to his team that Slade and he has done all the positions mentioned.  
22. He is not allowed to Photoshop any of his pictures on the internet to make him look taller.  
23. He is not allowed to Photoshop Batman's pictures into anything scandalous.  
24. And he is not allowed to sell those to the press.  
25. Even if the Titans' budgets are running low.  
26. The wide screen in the Titan's Tower is not to be used for Skype.  
27. Or sex chats.  
28. He is not allowed to ask Cyborg whether he makes sex toys.  
29. He is not allowed to shut Beast Boy up with the sticky X-es however much annoying he gets.  
30. Even if Slade asks him to in his sex-voice.

31. He is not allowed to ask Slade whether or not he is related to one Wade Wilson.  
32. He should stop attacking Furby's because they are not aliens here to take over the world.  
33. Having awesome sunglasses does not make him the new Lady Gaga.  
34. He will not watch Superman porn on the wide screen.  
35. And send a criticism to the creators later, saying how the porn star is so totally not Superman.  
36. And he would most definitely not ask Superman later his dick size.  
37. He is not allowed to ask Beast Boy to turn into a Care Bear.  
38. He is not allowed to ask Cyborg to say "To infinity and beyond!"  
39. Raven is not a Death Eater.  
40. So he can leave killing He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to Harry Potter.

41. Feeding Starfire's cooking is not a new way of assassinating.  
42. He is not allowed to assassinate anyone anyway.  
43. Even if Red X won't stop groping him at every occasion.  
44. And so he would not suggest it to Slade either.  
45. He is not allowed to read any Justice League orgy fanfictions.  
46. Or write them.  
47. And have Raven beta them.  
48. He is not allowed to go search for Dragon Balls.  
49. He will not ask Kitten's boyfriend if his Spider-Senses are tingling.  
50. He is not allowed to sing "It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)" when Trigon is trying to take over the planet.

51. He will not yell "I'm the king of the World!" on top of the Titan's Tower.  
52. He is not allowed to have his own throne room.  
53. He is not allowed to tell Raven to stop being so emo because that's _his_ job.  
54. Just because Slade's got his flesh and blood back, all fresh and new, that does not make him a virgin.  
55. He is not allowed to redesign Slade's mask using traffic light colors.  
56. He will not call Terra a bitch.  
57. He will not add "sexual assault on a minor" to the criminal records file on Slade.  
58. Especially when it's him Slade's had sex with.  
59. Beast Boy cannot turn into Wolverine.  
60. He will not give permission to Starfire to refer to themselves as "the Scouts of Sailor."

61. Tweeting while fighting evil is not a good idea.  
62. He is not allowed to write "Robin, the Teen Titan's leader" on the occupation section of Richard Grayson's Facebook page.  
63. And he is not allowed to add Lex Luthor as a friend.  
64. He is also not allowed to update his relationship status to "dating Slade Wildon."  
65. He would not encourage H.I.V.E to sinf "If You Were Gay" to Brother Blood.  
66. He is not allowed to be taken hostage and get tied up just for the sake of his identity.  
67. He is not allowed to put "Holy" before nouns, verbs, or anywhere else in sentences.  
68. Not allowed to use Cyborg's tools for sexual purposes.  
69. "So, what do you think about heroin?" is not the best way to start a conversation with Speedy.  
70. He will not ask Beast Boy to turn into a ninja-looking turtle when he's eating pizza.

71. He should not be disappointed that there were no girl (or boy) raping tentacle monsters in Tokyo.  
72. He is not allowed to summon said monster using Raven's books.  
73. He should stop watching _Supernatural_ if he's going to accuse Aqualad being a demon Because Of His Eyes.  
74. "How to Remove Slade's Armor" is not required to be updated onto the criminal database.  
75. He is not allowed to sing Britney Spear's "3" when he is with Slade and Red X at the same time.  
76. And he would not ask Speedy to join them in a Four. On the floor.  
77. Which means, "Circus" will not be his theme song.  
78. He should stop calling Más y Menos "Tacos y Nachos."  
79. "Chip and Dale" is not appropriate either.  
80. He will not mistake J'onn J'onzz to an alien stripper however much the Martian is dressed like one.

81. He is not allowed to ask who tops, Monsieur Mallah or the Brain.  
82. And Mojojojo is not their son.  
83. The Powerpuff Girls are not honorary members of the Titans.  
84. And he would not recruit other heroes from Cartoon Network.  
85. Or Kid's WB and Nickelodeon.  
86. He is not allowed to tell others that he lost his virginity to Batman when he was ten years old, just because he's pissed at his mentor.  
87. Especially because people will take it seriously.  
88. He is not allowed to have naughty fantasies involving the T-Car.  
89. Or the Batmobile.  
90. Hair gel is not to be bought off the Titan's budget.

91. He will not pretend to be Tarzan when he swings through the cities.  
92. Just because he was raised in a very rich home, he cannot pretend to not know how to do the dishes.  
93. He is not allowed to claim to be the Lolita to Slade's Humbert Humbert just to freak Batman out.  
94. He would not upload any footage taken by hidden cameras of Slade, Batman, and other Justice League onto YouTube.  
95. He will not place hidden cameras into the Justice League members' rooms.  
96. He is not allowed to create a Slade Wilson fanpage.  
97. Or a fanclub.  
98. And sell Slade masks.  
99. He will not scream like a girl every time he sees a cockroach in the kitchen.  
100. Condoms, lube, and hair gel is not to be stocked in his utility belt.


End file.
